I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
40s are totally the cure
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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