JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize