ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
