I think my vagina is haunted
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
