overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
