Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
