Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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