Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he shaved USA in his pubs
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
