You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize