I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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