Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
