Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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