Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
