Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize