is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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