mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize