i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
