smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
