When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize