i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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