tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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