there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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