dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
