can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
