his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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