I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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