don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
