There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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