it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
