Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
