Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
