Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
