I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Even my vagina gasped.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
