he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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