I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
