It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
