I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
