One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
