For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize