Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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