why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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