He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
