do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Two words: blizzard sex
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
