I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I cockslap morals
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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