can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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