Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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