He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
