If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
