I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
