How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
