Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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