you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
