I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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