You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
