It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
