So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
