my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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