and you said cock pushups were impossible
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
