We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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