this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
