white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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