you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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