I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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