if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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