Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
