You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
