Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
