He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
