she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it wasn't lemon gatorade
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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