I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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