You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
