I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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