it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
