Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
