You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize