I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
