she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
someone owes me an orgasm
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I understand Curling. That high.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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