youre lurking in front of me
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
