I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
