she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
