Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
