Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I'm really busy with my period
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