I don't think brook has ever known best
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize