He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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