We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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