You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
