I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
