I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
