you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
